fallacies on the internet

i had a day off of of school and naturally i celebrated it by watching college basketball and surfing the net. emily k happened to be online and home for spring break so i talked to her about both of our chances at marrying jake larsh. i think i convinced her that she has an infinestiminable amount more shot than i got seeing as i know that jake larsh is not gay and i am a man. also i am not gay so i have no physical attraction to jake larsh and i will not marry either a man or a woman i have no physical attraction toward. but thats not really what this post is about.

i was playing games on the website, addictinggames.com and found a game entitled "chuck norris ninja attack" naturally i was intrigued and found that the game offered the simulation of being chuck norris and fighting and endless hoard of ninjas falling from the sky. the game had many strong points that provided for an accurate simulation. first of all chuck norris could both punch and kick the ninjas to death. however he could not punch and kick at the same time, but ill talk about that later. the game provided an ample use of chuck norris's ability to pull the heart out of a ninja and eat it. furthermore if you jumped on a fallen ninja's head, his brain would fly out. you could then kick the brain at other ninjas to stall them before chuck kicked karate out of them. needless to say this part of the game worked excellently and was very realistic. brains are soft so even one kicked by chuck norris would only stall an incoming ninja. however this stall would make it easier for chuck norris to jump over the ninja's head and roundhouse kick him in the back of the face. however the game also did have its weak points. the first part of the simulation that you would probly notice is that it is seriously lacking in a third dimension. no explantion was given for chuck norris's (or the ninja's for that matter) ability to move more than side to side. next chuck norris aparently lacks the abilty to turn around. fortunately his ability to walk backward just as fast as he walks forward greatly makes the ability to turn around irrelevent. i also thought it odd that chuck norris only used either one had or one foot. on further reflection though i have decided that this was done to provide a greater challenge for chuck norris and a less one sided simulation. another flaw of the game that i noticed was that one time i jumped into the air, kicked a ninja, ripped his heart out, ate it, and kicked two more ninjas before i landed to the ground. only one of the last two ninjas died. chuck norris's kicks always kill. finally the game's greatest flaw is the chuck norris died after only killing 186 ninjas. chuck norris could never be killed by a hoard of ninjas. how much more inaccurate is the tiny number of 186. now it is important to note that unlike many of my contemperaries, i don not believe chuck norris to be immortal in a real sense. he could die but not from a hoard of ninjas. the fact is that if ninja's were going to kill chuck norris, it would take more ninja's than the entire earth's population, much less the number of fully certified ninjas throughout the world. so chuck norris is only immortal in a logical sense. overall that was the game's greatest flaw but it effectively captured the feeling of being chuck norris killing an endless stream of ninjas falling from the sky and under that context i liked it and give it my full reccemondation.