the things ive come to fear the most
its serious writing time. not for this blog of course but for camp phillip. im down to my last 2 weeks or so to finish my staff application. the thing still petrifies me and i know that if writing the thing bugs me this much the interview (God/Matthew willing) will be even worse. ive been coming to camp every single summer of my life. ive prolly forgotten more staff members than ill ever get to really know. and yet im doing something every single one of them had to do. the counselor i really looked up to as a camper the ones that i had so much fun with. the people that i was always excited to meet. they all filled out an application much like this. were they scared? did they look at questions like "describe a method of discipline that you would use with a child" and think of all things that could go wrong with disciplining a kid. that he could ignore you or it could fail. or how to discipline such as timeouts or sitting in a corner or pushups. or what the heck did this kid do that i have to discipline. or did they think of the positive effect discipline can have as a child. how necessary discipline is and how that is when camper and staff can bond the most. and how unfullfilling having a perfect cabin would be.
i was just talking to my friend Jill last night for a while about how and why we both will be at mlc next year to be teachers. the thing that i really thought of and took home was that i dont want a be teacher for the perfect kids. the kids that get everything done. the kids that never miss reces. the kids that shudder at not doing extra credit. as much as i love those kids i know that they can teach much what theyll learn from me to themselves. and as much as i will love and them and help them as much as i can they are not the ones i am going to have the greatest effect on. escpecially at the age i want to teach, 7th and 8th grade, there are going to be kids who wont do there homework. who hate me. who hate their parents. who are falling from God. who really need a mentor. i guess when it comes down to it i pray to God that i can help not only the good kids but the bad kids too. that when i discipline a camper i dont just make him behave for a little while but that he understands why i had to punish him and that he knows his motivation for a life of love. i really fear that i wont get that oppourtunity. that im not gonna be at camp this summer and that its not part of God's plan and that i wont get to make a difference in that kids life.
posted by schleef at 8:19 PM
5 Comments:
It seems as though we're having many of the same feelings going through this application process. When I first looked at these questions, I mostly looked at the last four or five and thought it would be really easy. Currently, I'm working on question number three and I find it and #2 pretty difficult. I certainly am not looking forward to #4 and 5, but they are important questions to answer. For the first time, I'm beginning to wonder if I really am qualified for this position. I still feel that there is a way for me to make Camp Phillip a better place this summer, so I certainly will still apply. I'll let Matthew figure out whether or not I am, in fact, qualified.
Tue Jan 17, 02:13:00 PM
Thanks, that helps.
Wed Jan 18, 02:49:00 PM
As much I respect what you've said, it made me sad in a way.
As one who has 'shuttered at the thought of not doing extra credit' I know the importance of not neglecting these kids. So often we focus all our attention on the bad ones. Look at the application-how do you discipline a child?- but how often do we really look at those kids who are good? How do you reward those kids. Because, hey, those kids need role models. They need mentors. Life isn't golden because you are smart and motivated. I actually just had a conversation about that today. And it got me thinking about how we almost reward negativity. If you are bad, you get attention. You get extra help if you are struggling.
But what about the kids who struggle to figure out where they are supposed to go in life? Who never really fit in because they are "too busy being smart...or something". Can't tell ya how many times I've heard that one.
So, yes, I get what you're saying. Its nice to think we're needed; or that we can positively influence those who are struggling, but really, how often are those kids who aren't struggling the truly neglected ones?
Wed Jan 18, 08:22:00 PM
Chrissy i know exactly what your saying and in no way did i mean to say that i dont care about the kids that get all their homework done or am not gonna attempt to be a mentor to them. I was more reflecting back to myself in gradeschool, especially like 3rd or 4th grade when i was that kind of kid and i felt like i was the teacher's pet. it just bothered me that i seemed to get more attention than other kids who prolly needed more help. Well i didnt really see this till they started calling me that and i disagreed with them, but i saw their point. I guess what i should have said is that i want to be a teacher without favorites. Also i looked at the struggling kids more because it is going to be much more work for me to teach them than it will be for the smarter kids. especially in high school i have shirked off alot of hard work and coasted right through the easy stuff. If i was that kind of teacher those would be the students that suffered most but in truth everyone would suffer. So i guess i just want to work hard for everyone.
Thu Jan 19, 05:19:00 AM
I think it's very interesting for Chrissy to comment on rewarding negativity like she thinks it's a bad thing. Her liberal buddies have been doing it for a long time.
(Chrissy, I'm trusting you to know me well enough to not be offended or take this entirely seriously)
Thu Jan 19, 07:25:00 PM
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